Guys today is the mood I guess. There is this one girl in my life, you know kind of special and unique. We were in the same school but we never talked and me too was never like interested in her. I was one of the silent admirers in school. And then we happened to be for coaching classes too. And there we started talking and became good acquaintances. One of my best friend turns out to be liking her and he tells me, I was like ‘cool go ahead’, coz I was not interested in her. He is one of shy people, so he did not told her or asked her out. Later I and her talked, chatted and stuff. Slowly I realized that I was fucking in love with her. IDK, may be it was some psychological impact of my school mate teasing with her or what. And then I seriously was all into her. I was young and crazy and…you know still a fresher. I told her but, it was very different. I told her that it is not a proposal its just that I wanted you know this. I knew she did not had any feelings for me as such. She is one of the most beautiful, charming, fun loving and perfect girl I have ever met. The thing was me telling this to her did not changed anything. This would say about her soft nature and personality. Later we just carried on like this, chatting and meeting in regular intervals. She kind of liked me, as a friend though but it was good enough for me since I was with her anyhow. It was living my dream kind of life. The heaven for me. But you know what, I was a motherfucking jerk. I used to lie her about my grades, used to show off things I did not had or possess. Then one day I could not have myself on this, because I was not like that. I confessed it to her. Ofcorse I was not strong enough to say her in person, so I just text-ed her whole thing. And she was like “WTF?!”. She was very very angry and annoyed. We did not talked for long. Though with a light of hope I regularly text-ed her GNs and GMs. She sometimes replied formally and other times no response. Latter being most of the time. Then even I realized that it was a mistake no one would ever forgive for. She trusted me, I know,I felt it. I broke it all! I then just gave up and stopped trying to contact her. After around 3-4 months, I texted her again, this time she replied and was in good mood I felt. Then after I apologized and believe it or not she forgave me. This again tells about her loving and soft heart. Though scars of grudges got up now and then. And when I told her that I still crazy for her, she was like ‘move on’! But I realized, I came too far to give up now. I have been thinking of her everyday, every moment. I have missed her like my skeleton. This Jailed abroad period, I have been just thinking of ways to get her back. I was s much into her that I could not move on. Things were never the same. Then I kind of turned the wall, and we became good. Not the same! But better then the worst I have been through. Today we still chat and talk, though it was always me who initiated the chat or conversation. And just a week or ago, I felt that its time to admit that I have lost this. I felt like it was enough, I was frustrated and mindfucked. I love the person from 3 years who does not even think about me for a second untill I want her to. She does not any BF, just loves her friends. Well that makes me feel better, but I see the nightmare coming wen she finds someone. I talked about this to one of my Best friend. She told it is just lust, no real love because there is no correspondence. I was shocked to hear that. It did not gulp through my shallow neck. Not acceptable at all. IDK what to do from here. I always had plans and ways this far, but now I am clueless. I can’t pass a day without thinking of her. I miss those days. I admit life changes with time. The days of past can’t be lived as they are now some whim and fantasy. I do not want to let her go now, like I said I have come too far to give up. And this time, at this stage I am way too far to give up. I am restless now. This is though the dark side of my one sided love story, there are many loving and priceless moments I would share someday which makes me love her so much. Please help me here.