I hate to love you

Every next word you read is out of the blue. I thought things were in place till yesterday but one thing changed it all. Thing is I stopped seeing her after I decided to move on over her. It was difficult as hell in the beginning but I got through that phase and things were quite normal for me then. Though I everyday convinced myself that it was over and I am done with her, and for me that worked pretty well. I also managed to communicate the least I could which I maintained for surprisingly long period of time. I was doing good moving on. Keeping things to myself, felt like I was so full of this shit but did it. Finding every reason I could to make myself convince that it was over and she deserved better. But all that did good until yesterday. Until I met her. Until I saw her again. I thought meeting her on a sort of School reunion would not matter because I was doing good. I thought its just a meet, we can be matured ones and accept things. And yeah she was matured over there and I tried my best. We talked and words were just about to ooze out of me but I kept it into me. I could just admire her and just…just watch her. I am still sticking to my plan, of moving on. There is no back way from here, how much ever hard it may be to move forward. It is killing me, but it won’t forever. It has to be gone someday. Sleepless nights and over thinking days got to stop someday. I got to control and let time play its part. I just want to get over with this and I do not want to go back there even though I still got feelings for but, decision was made by me on terms that it would never be revised. So lets smile and keep going. Have hell of a year ahead of me to get my shit together.

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